Jealousy is one of the basic emotions of a person that affects the relationships between people, especially in romantic relationships, from childhood to youth. This is an emotional response more than being a bad feature. This reaction usually occurs in facing the real or unreal concern. This concern often occurs when a person suspects that his relationship or his position is threatened to be destroyed.
Some times Jealousy is not bad
The sense ofjealousy between two people or two groups can encourage them to try consciouslyfor increasing the sense of value in a person. Some psychologists have evenclaimed that if a person doesn’t have this feeling, he will be in a lack ofcommitment in his relationships with the others.
How is the feeling of jealousy made in us?
Jealousy isoften rooted in a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. So it affects peopleaccording to their level of self-esteem and self-confidence. This lack of self-esteemmakes unrealistic imagination and these imaginations are the cause of jealousy.
Humans aregenerally jealous because of an infinite love and afraid of losing their love.By excessive control, they ultimately lead to conflict. Although there is morejealousy in romantic relationships, this usually exists among colleagues andcompetitors and also between siblings. The parents make their children jealousby paying attention to one of their children more than the others. This doubleattention provokes a sense of jealousy in another.
They saythat a little jealousy is necessary to preserve what we have or to get andimprove a relationship, but this does not seem to be a right justification forincreasing such an emotion and expressing it in a relationship. The jealousynever help you keep or care a relationship.
Thisfeeling, like many other excitements, can also help you “preserve”the relationship, but in some cases, it is intensified and distracts the mindof the person. This is where it comes out of the protective aspect and changesto a destructive one. This type of jealousy is unusual or abnormal, andpsychologists call it sickly jealousy. The sickly jealousy may lead to violenceand even death in some cases.
How can jealousy affect us and our relationships?
A jealousperson is someone who doesn’t want the others have blessings, happiness, andsuccesses in the financial, educational, and occupational aspects of thesociety. The jealousy is very complicated and may be different in individuals.But this feeling does not bring us anything, and ultimately makes disturbance, stressand worthlessness.
This feelingfinally turns into a disability and a sense of deficiency in a jealous personand makes him humiliated. Thoughts that make jealousy begin to progress in ourminds, and if we cannot control it, these thoughts defeat us and, as a result,may lead to aggression and disturbance.
The jealousyis similar to the virus and can even destroy the best relationships. No onelikes to be in touch with a jealous person. The result of this feeling isinsecurity and fear. Jealousy can be described as a combination of differentemotions like stress, anger, fear and insecurity.
There isoften a kind of fear in the sense of jealousy. Because a jealous personsometimes feels that the affection of his interested people is decreasing orthe position, post, or something he has expected to achieve is taken by anotherperson. If you can control your jealousy, your performance will increase andlead to personal growth and development.
How can we overcome our jealousy?
There are many ways to overcome jealousy. One of the most effective ways to overcome it is the use of NLP techniques and hypnotherapy. Farshid Pakzat’s Research Group, in the following teach NLP techniques to overcome the feeling of jealousy.
Step 1- Accept the existence of jealousy in yourself
The means ofaccepting jealousy is not to accept and cope with this feeling. The purpose ofacceptance is to believe it. Understand the existence of this feeling inyourself and not conceal it. You can get help from the people around you toensure this feeling exists.
Ask yourfriend or partner about how jealous you are or not. This will make youembarrassed if the answer is positive. This is a great step for acceptance andyou can begin to make changes by accepting it. Until you do not have acceptance,you won’t do anything to eliminate it.
Step 2- Find the evidences
Find andwrite the things that make you jealous. Find any evidence that may endangeryour relationship? Find behaviors that put your position at risk? Try to findwords that you have used a lot and they are in your mind and soul.
Step 3- Find the jealousy’s root
Theimportant thing is identifying this jealousy properly and logically and thusfind its root. You cannot defeat jealousy until you identify it. Once you findthe main reason, try to fix it. Is your problem related to your talents andabilities or your behavior and actions? Do you have problems in your beliefs orself-esteem?
You musttalk to yourself positively with your positive words. Always consider yourself worthyand lovely. Think that your affectionate partner loves you and gives you a lotof respect. Think about all the abundance of the world in your mind. Think thatyou have many talents and abilities. When you think like this, you’ll be awareof the opportunities and chances ahead of you.
Always waita moment before any reaction and count up to 10. Find yourself and your soul.Break your old patterns. If you have previously shown behavior and reactionthat made the others upset, try changing it. Think that jealousy has manymessages for you. Try to find the message in your thoughts and feelings. It canbe one of the signs of love. It is talking to you. Listen, see and understandit.