You want to exercise, but it is hard for you to wake up early in the morning. This is called internal conflict. In this article we will talk about the reasons for creating this conflict. Because when we know the reasons of creating many internal conflicts, we can solve them more easily.
Why do we have internal conflicts?
Internal Conflict is created in 2 cases. One when we face with two different values. The other one when we have a value that there are some conflicting criteria for achieving it. Let’s explain more with an example. For the first case of creating internal conflict, suppose exercising is a value for you. On the other hand, sleeping in the morning is also important for you. These two values are in opposition with each other. Because we cannot sleep a lot in the morning and also go exercising. This is where you are involved with these conflicts.
For the second case of creating internal conflict, suppose that keeping your family happy is a value for you. The criterion that make you achieve this value are having more income and spending the time with family. Sometimes these two criterion may conflict with each other. You may have to work more hours to have more income and have less time to spend with your family. You are in conflict with this situation. On the one hand, you have to spend more time with your family to make them happy; on the other hand, you need to spend your time working for earning money to meet your family needs.
Family, work environment, school, university, all of these are parts of the community. All human beings in any part of the community are willingly or unwillingly in different social roles. We have to do some tasks in different roles. These tasks may be in opposition with some of our values. In this case, we have internal conflict.
For example, suppose you are responsible for a part of your office and you have to manage a few people. On the other hand, according to the laws of the office, you have to talk seriously to one who is late. But you are the person who does not like to annoy anyone. In these situations, being in a social role will put you in conflict with the values you have.
۲ – New beliefs formation
Some of the beliefs that exist within us are formed by patterning. That is, for example, we saw the behavior of our parents for years, and this behavior has been recorded as a belief in our minds. Then, for various reasons, we may achieve new beliefs. In this case, we may also have internal conflict.
We will make it clear for you with an example. Suppose a person who has grown up in a family that everyone thinks of his personal interests. Because this behavior has repeated over and over for a long time and this person saw all of them, it has unconsciously turned into a belief for him. Now imagine that after a period of time, through friends or co-workers, this person becomes familiar with charities and self-sacrificing will be a value for him.
۳ – Prioritizing the criterion
Many internal conflicts that we have are the results of a conflict between our criteria. Perhaps you know many people who think that for having a good life, they should have a lot of money and do nothing, and spend all their time just having fun. Or you may see people who like to eat fast food every day, having their fitness and health is very important to them.
In these examples, the people’s criterion are in conflict. This makes internal conflict. In order to be able to solve this problem, we must prioritize our criterion.
۴- Life passing levels
In the first case we said that social roles are among the factors that can cause internal conflict. The life passing levels are among the factors that make us be in the new social roles. Moreover, because we are entering a period from another period, this conflict can be even greater.
For example, entering a married life is a passing level. The responsibilities of before and after married life are very different. In addition, by entering a married life, we are entering a new social role, this change can make our internal conflict greater.
In order to be able to come up with the internal conflicts that we have, we must first be aware of these conflicts creation. So pay attention to the four factors that we mentioned above to realize the conflicts creation. On the next step, you need to know the cause when you have internal conflict so that you can solve these problems for yourself.