Everything will be better after getting married. We heardthis sentence a lot. From family, friends, bride and groom. But does the life partnerchange after marriage? In this article we will explain about it. Farshid PakzatResearch Group.
Why are we looking for changing our life partner after marriage?
One of the reasons for thinking about changing our lifepartner before getting married is that we are proud. We think that we areliving perfectly, so the other person should become like us just aftermarriage. But sometimes, if we look fair, we see that our partner has noproblem, only his/her life is different from us. So instead of thinking aboutchanging our partner, we need to look more closely at these differences. Let’ssee that if these differences can damage our life or not. And how much canthese differences be close to each other?
One of the other reasons for thinking about changing our life partner before marriage is different beliefs that exist between the two or two families. In this situation, on the one hand, the girl and the boy decide to marry, on the other hand, they realize that there are fundamental differences between them. So one of them or both of them think about changing their partner after marriage.
Is itpossible for our partner to be changed after marriage?
Now that we have talked about the reasons for the girl andthe boy’s desire to change their partner after marriage, we have to see whetherthis is practically possible or not? If we want to answer briefly, we have anegative answer. But why?
One person has grown twenty or more years with a series ofbeliefs. He has his specific model life and becomes a person who wants to marryyou. It means that the person you want to marry with comes from many years ofliving with different beliefs and experiences. So, if that person wants tochange, he definitely needs time.
Of course, there are some people who believe that if theirpartner love them, this love can change that person. In response to thesefriends, we must say that a change that quickly emerges will quickly disappear.When one’s personality and beliefs are formed over the years, nothing canchange them quickly. So if you’ve seen a change in your partner before marriage,you should not be so happy because it will not be permanent.
Even sometimes the people cannot change through the time.Ask why? Because when the age of the people becomes more, their change becomesless possible. It’s a lot easier for a child to change than a teenager. Thecharacter of most people is like a paste that is very soft and flexible atfirst, but over time, it’s hard and unchanging. So, don’t have any hope thatyour partner will change several years after your marriage. You should knowthat trying to change your partner is basically wrong.
Why is itwrong to try for changing the partner after the marriage?
When you try to change your partner, you unconsciously lookat your partner from a higher position. But we know that in order to have agood life, the two should be beside each other, be together, and never lookingeach other from a higher position.
So when you try to change your partner, you unconsciouslysee yourself in a power position and your partner in a weak position. Thisfeeling destroy your life balance. It makes you always expect your partner tothank you. The same feeling is transferred to your partner, and finally, itgives him an inside feeling that he is under your obligation in life. You mayask this question: “shouldn’t we change for a marriage?” .Lets answerthis question.
Don’t we needto change for a successful marriage?
We all have heard this sentence: “The two people who wantto get married must change the word me to us.” This sentence tells us thatwhen we want to marry, we must be the one with whom we have chosen as a partner.And this cannot be done unless we change ourselves.
All of our talking emphasizes on the point that you shouldnot try to change your partner. It is necessary to change, but changeyourselves. Yes, instead of trying to change our partner, we should try tochange ourselves and get closer to our partner.
Paying attention to one point is very important. Starting amarried life needs a little small changes, not a lot of big changes. So please,do not start a married life if you realize that you have main differences withyour partner. Because there is no way to change your partner and you cannotmatch yourself with the person you chose. Because you have to become anotherperson.
So if you want to have a successful marriage, do not thinkabout changing your partner. Looking for someone who looks like you and need tomake some minor changes for starting your life. Finally, instead of changing yourpartner, start changing yourself.
We hope that with all these points in this article, we’vebeen able to help you choose your partner in your life.