Everything will be better after getting married. We heard this sentence a lot. From family, friends, bride and groom. But does the life partner change after marriage? In this article we will explain about it. Farshid Pakzat Research Group.
Why are we looking for changing our life partner after marriage?
One of the reasons for thinking about changing our life partner before getting married is that we are proud. We think that we are living perfectly, so the other person should become like us just after marriage. But sometimes, if we look fair, we see that our partner has no problem, only his/her life is different from us. So instead of thinking about changing our partner, we need to look more closely at these differences. Let’s see that if these differences can damage our life or not. And how much can these differences be close to each other?
One of the other reasons for thinking about changing our life partner before marriage is different beliefs that exist between the two or two families. In this situation, on the one hand, the girl and the boy decide to marry, on the other hand, they realize that there are fundamental differences between them. So one of them or both of them think about changing their partner after marriage.
Is it possible for our partner to be changed after marriage?
Now that we have talked about the reasons for the girl and the boy’s desire to change their partner after marriage, we have to see whether this is practically possible or not? If we want to answer briefly, we have a negative answer. But why?
One person has grown twenty or more years with a series of beliefs. He has his specific model life and becomes a person who wants to marry you. It means that the person you want to marry with comes from many years of living with different beliefs and experiences. So, if that person wants to change, he definitely needs time.
Of course, there are some people who believe that if their partner love them, this love can change that person. In response to these friends, we must say that a change that quickly emerges will quickly disappear. When one’s personality and beliefs are formed over the years, nothing can change them quickly. So if you’ve seen a change in your partner before marriage, you should not be so happy because it will not be permanent.
Even sometimes the people cannot change through the time. Ask why? Because when the age of the people becomes more, their change becomes less possible. It’s a lot easier for a child to change than a teenager. The character of most people is like a paste that is very soft and flexible at first, but over time, it’s hard and unchanging. So, don’t have any hope that your partner will change several years after your marriage. You should know that trying to change your partner is basically wrong.
Why is it wrong to try for changing the partner after the marriage?
When you try to change your partner, you unconsciously look at your partner from a higher position. But we know that in order to have a good life, the two should be beside each other, be together, and never looking each other from a higher position.
So when you try to change your partner, you unconsciously see yourself in a power position and your partner in a weak position. This feeling destroy your life balance. It makes you always expect your partner to thank you. The same feeling is transferred to your partner, and finally, it gives him an inside feeling that he is under your obligation in life. You may ask this question: “shouldn’t we change for a marriage?” .Lets answer this question.
Don’t we need to change for a successful marriage?
We all have heard this sentence: “The two people who want to get married must change the word me to us.” This sentence tells us that when we want to marry, we must be the one with whom we have chosen as a partner. And this cannot be done unless we change ourselves.
All of our talking emphasizes on the point that you should not try to change your partner. It is necessary to change, but change yourselves. Yes, instead of trying to change our partner, we should try to change ourselves and get closer to our partner.
Paying attention to one point is very important. Starting a married life needs a little small changes, not a lot of big changes. So please, do not start a married life if you realize that you have main differences with your partner. Because there is no way to change your partner and you cannot match yourself with the person you chose. Because you have to become another person.
So if you want to have a successful marriage, do not think about changing your partner. Looking for someone who looks like you and need to make some minor changes for starting your life. Finally, instead of changing your partner, start changing yourself.
We hope that with all these points in this article, we’ve been able to help you choose your partner in your life.