Controlling the feelings in different situations is one of the common characteristics of successful people. In NLP we learn how to control our feelings by means of conditioning techniques.
In NLP conditioning is also called anchor. But what is the reason for this naming?
From the NLP perspective, the unconscious mind does not have the ability to recognize a real experience from its visualization of that experience. Thus, with the help of the imagination, the mind can be drawn to anchor to a feeling. In this way, feelings control is possible in different situations.
By controlling the feelings with the help of the conditioning technique, you are less influenced by external actions, and you’re doing better. You can change your mental or emotional state with the technique of conditioning in the shortest possible time.
How does conditioning work?
To explain how the conditioning works, we will refer to the Paulo test on dogs.
Paulo made a ringing tone while he fed dogs. The animal released its saliva when it saw the food. Ringing a tone at the same time as feeding the animal was repeated many times. After a while, hearing that sound alone could have caused the dog’s saliva to be released. This is a conditioning process.
Anchor or conditioning is a process that an event or memory causes a person to feel something especial. For example, hearing the smell of new money will remind us the memories of Noroz in childhood.
Many of the anchors are formed spontaneously. You may be unaware of them. A stimulus which has relationship with a physical and emotional state and creates it is called anchor.
Sounds, images, smells and even a particular tasting can be natural stimulants. Feelings control can be possible by using them.
How are the anchors made?
The first method for creating anchor is repetition. For example, turning the red traffic lights on means stopping. It’s a kind of simple learning that makes the red color a dangerous sign in our minds.
The second way for creating anchor is to have strong feelings at the right time. Some events make the feelings of pleasure in us and some others make us feel uncomfortable. If a particular event occurs in a place and causes a strong feeling (good or bad) in the person, the presence of him in that place for the second time makes that previous feeling in him.
How many types of anchors exist?
Anchor has two types of automatic and designed. Automatic anchors are items that we may not be aware of them. These anchors are made accidentally.
In fact, we often think that our emotion appears by chance and does not depend on our thoughts and actions. In this case, we are affected by automatic anchors.
Designed anchors are made unlike our previous ones. By using these anchors, we can rebuild a mental or emotional state in any situation we need. In fact, feeling control is possible with designed anchors.
How can we control emotions by using anchors?
For each anchor, we need a stimulus and an answer. Anything that causes reactions and responses is called stimulus. Any reactions to any kind of stimulus is called response.
We can do this for controlling the emotions. First, select the desired emotional state. Then you associate it with a stimulus. This connection should be of a kind that when you need it, you can create it with the desired stimulus.
You can use the anchor to create the emotion you want in the future about the situation and something else.
Think about where you want to appear. This state can be self-esteem, courage, and so on. Then use 3 sensory, audio, and pictorial channels to create that sense in those situations.
You should imagine the entire image with all the details. Then pay attention to audio presentation. Then you can select a specific word or phrase according to desired sense. The way of expressing, tone and song is also very influential.
A practical example for controlling emotions by using Anchor
For example, you can use of this sentences for the self-confidence feeling “I feel my self-confidence is increasing more and more” or even the word “self-confidence.” When using this word or phrase, use the confident tone and sound.
Another point which should be considered completely is the feelings of the individual. We must connect the persons feeling with the stimulus. For a better result, you can touch a hand or other suitable area (preferably a joint which is used as a point for the sensory support (key).
If we stimulate a part of our body, the rest of the other parts will be shared and stimulated in this experience.
Some points for making anchor and conditioning
It should be noted that the conditional point (key) should be distinct and unique, it means that a vast area which is widely available shouldn’t be selected.
When we want to make anchor and conditioning, we need to be at the peak of emotional state. In this situation, you must touch the area for 5 to 15 seconds. Another important point is that doing it should not be easy to repeat.
Conditioning method can be used at all stages of life to control feelings and optimize moments.