How to keep or increase the morale in a person who has a difficult-to-treat disease? We all know that morale is very important to treat diseases like cancer. So, finding a way to increase the morale of people with difficult-to-treat disease can have a great effect on treating these patients. In this article, we explain the most important way to increase the morale of these patients.
How to increase someone’s morale who has a difficult-to-treat disease?
If one of your friends or family has a difficult-to-treat disease, you may know that sometimes the positive words have no effect on them. They seem to make a ferrous wall around themselves and we cannot give them the hope for living with any words. And you may know that most of the people who could defeat the hard diseases had strong morale.
What are the differences between those who defeat their hard diseases by having good morale and those who are hopeless and never fight with the disease? The main difference between them is their beliefs. In this article, we explain three types of beliefs that are effective in the treatment of disease from the NLP view (Neuro-linguistic programming). In the following we mention 3 points to guide those who want to help a patient.
1- The beliefs about the cause
One of the effective beliefs on treating the disease, especially a difficult-to-treat disease, is the belief about the cause of the disease. Be careful when you see that someone is talking about his disease and is using the word “because”. In this moment that person is explaining his belief about the cause of his illness.
Some beliefs prevent us from treating the hard diseases. Some beliefs like: I have cancer because of my bad behavior with a person. These kinds of beliefs are the barriers to treat the disease, they decrease the effects of the medicines and destroy the patient’s hope to be treated. Because they make the cause of the disease dependent to an external factor, and until that factor exists, the disease will not be cured.
When you believe in something, it will happen to you. You may see some people who really believe that they are lucky, so they are always lucky. It has 2 reasons. One is that when you believe in something, you focus on that and we achieve what we focus on. The second reason is that when we believe in something, we send the message about our beliefs to the universe and get a result according to our sent message. So when we have a negative belief about the cause of the disease, this negative belief cause the difficult-to-treat disease not to be treated.
2- The beliefs about the meaning
We give you an example in order to explain the beliefs about the meaning of the disease better. Suppose that a difficult-to-treat disease is like a journey. It is obvious that this journey’s destination is either the healing and recovery or failing. Different things in a journey determine that whether we arrive the destination or not. And there are different things that make us arrive the destination or choose the wrong way and arrive another destination.
Two of these are “the starting point of the journey” and “the way of the journey”. The starting point of the journey for a hard disease is the belief about the cause of the disease. The way to this journey is also the beliefs about the meaning of the disease. If you turn wrongly in a road in your journey, you certainly will not go to the desired destination.
The patient actually talks about these beliefs like this: since this change is appeared in my blood test, so I will never be cured. One example for positive belief is this: The doctor says that my test shows that the disease is progressing but I feel that I’m not getting worse, it means that this disease does not have any effect on me.
3- The beliefs about the boundary
These beliefs usually explain the patient’s idea about the result of the disease. Here are some examples of negative beliefs about the boundaries for those with hard illness: “I have lived enough, I do not have the right to be cured, I will get no result if I do chemotherapy.
Negative beliefs about the boundaries usually prevent us from changing. Most of the time there are these beliefs that prevent us from hearing every positive word. The patients with these hard illnesses are unconscious about these beliefs and this makes the beliefs be more powerful.
Trap First: Beliefs’ reflection
Very often, when one person tries to identify the other one’s beliefs, he tends to find evidence on the other side for the beliefs he has. It means that the person’s mind unconsciously sees his beliefs in that person instead of identifying that person’s beliefs correctly.
Second Trap: Inverted horseshoe
In ancient times, when the cavalry of an army wanted to deceive the enemy, they hung the inverted shoes to the horses. This way, if the cavalry were moving from east to west, the enemy trackers thought they were moving from west to east. We may be trapped in identifying the beliefs of someone who has experienced a serious illness.
This happens when we listen to the patient’s words and we become emotional. Then we create an explanation for these created feelings in ourselves. Then imagine that the explanation we created for ourselves is the other one’s belief. So, we deceive ourselves. In fact, in this case, we put our created explanation for our feelings instead of the patient’s beliefs.
Third trap: smoky blind of ambiguity
Third trap usually happens when we come close to the beliefs that are related to the patient’s identity or the beliefs that the patient tends to hide for different reasons. In these situations, the patient suddenly starts to hide something or change the discussion. Most of the times, when you enter into these kinds of beliefs, the person becomes unconsciously nervous and talks vaguely.
If you face with this situation, it shows that the patient wants to avoid this belief. Two points are important in this situation. One is that you should be careful that talking vaguely or changing the conversation do not make you confused. The second point is that it’s best not to try to get information directly. Because you cannot get the correct information. Or you put the patient under the pressure that it is not good for him. Or, in general, the positive relationship that you try to make will disappear.
We hope that if you know any patient who has a hard disease, you can use these methods to identify his negative thoughts and help him to be cured.