Why do children malinger for going to school and taking an exam? This article introduces the roots of different types of childhood malinger and teaches 5 ways to deal with it. So, if your child is a malingerer, read this article to the end.
What doeschildren malingering mean?
Malingering or sickness is a personal disorder. Inpsychology, malingering is referred to as a fake disorder. Psychologists identifychildren who are malingering as difficult children or incompatible children.The meaning of incompatibility is that the child cannot or does not want toadapt himself to the situations. For example, in the morning he malingers forgoing to school and pretends to have a pain, sore throat and so on.
Malingering in children can begin at age 5 or 6. The reasonfor this behavior may be a particular problem that the child has in a certainlesson. Malingering can be due to the fact that its relationship with theteacher is not good or, for example, because of a conflict with one of his classmates.Anyway, all of them means that he has problems in adopting himself to thesituation. However, the child malingering can have different reasons. But ingeneral, it can be divided into two categories.
۱- Malinger for gaining benefits
In this type of malingering, the child pretends to be illfor gaining benefits. For example, he did not do homework or would like tosleep more. So he pretends to be ill to stay at home. This benefit can bematerially or emotionally. Certainly, in this kind of malingering our child hasno particular disease.
۲- Malinger without the purpose for gaining benefits
In this type of malingering, the child does not pretend tobe ill for a particular benefit. Even he may love going to school. But when hewants to go to school, we see the symptoms of the disease in our child. In thiscase, these symptoms do not have a specific cause and root. For example, ourchild may have nausea or headaches, but if you go to the doctor, there is nospecific cause for nausea or headache.
How can weidentify the types of malingering?
A child who malinger for benefits, does not pretend to besick as soon as he reaches the goal. Because he has reached his goal, so thereis no reason to continue the process. But a child who is in second-groupdoesn’t malinger voluntarily. When our child has the symptoms of a disease whenhe is not sick, it shows type2 malinger. The reason for type2 malinger isusually psychological. For example, if he afraid of a certain person, he willhave the symptoms of a disease every time he sees him. Whenever he is far awayfrom him, he has no problem.
How shouldwe deal with children malingering?
There are some solutions to deal with child malinger,whether the first type or second type. Farshid Pakzat Research Group,introduces these solutions.
۱- Determining some rules
In most cases, determining the rules solves the problem oftype1 malinger. Suppose the reason for child malinger is not doing homework orhaving more sleep. So, if the correct rules for doing homework and sleeping aredetermined, then there will be no reason for malingering.
Be careful that doingthe home rules is not temporary and should always be done by all family members.The rules that are set for homework, night sleep, or other things should beclearly defined for children. By following these rules, children learndiscipline. As a result, instead of dealing with the malingering, you have eliminatedthe reason for this problem. Remember that parents are the children’s model. Soif you do not follow the rules of the home, you cannot expect your children todo this.
۲- Finding the roots and solve problems
We must find our child malinger roots whether it is type1 ortype2. Without knowing the cause and the roots of the child’s behavior, we cannotproperly deal with the problem. After finding the child behavior’s roots, weshould find the best solutions. Then chose the best of them, in accordance withthe child’s situations.
It is better for the child to play a role in finding hisbehavior’s roots. We should talk to children about their problems calmly withno anger. You can show your child the ways for solving his problem briefly. Youmust support your child in solving his problems and not be in front of him.
While parents do not have the ability to find the roots and solvethe problems, they will experience mental and behavioral disorders in dealingwith the problem. This kind of behavior also affects the child and instead ofsolving the problem clear it and the problem may be deeper.
۳- Blame is forbidden
When the child malinger, we should not blame him. Because byblaming we suppress his personality and spirit. Instead of blaming andsuppressing the child, we should use penalty. If we determine correct rules, wecan use the penalty for not doing the rules. Humiliation and blame onlyexacerbate our child’s incompatibility.
۴- Do not labeling
You should behave carefully in dealing with the children whoare malingering, both the first and the second type. We label our childrenusing words like liars, cowards, lazy and… . Labeling the children will have long bad effects on their personality. Ifwe label our child in dealing with malingering, we will actually create abigger problem for our child instead of solving it. Of course, by labeling, wecannot solve the problem.
۵- Love them
Do you think that if the children get their parents’affection and attention, is there a reason to malinger? Parents should lovetheir children in all situations. Do not forget to love and pay attention tothem. Try to create opportunities for loving your child. By proper encouraging givethem confidence and make your home a safe place for them. Thus, the child findsno reason for malingering.
In the end, we point out that although it is harder to raisemalingerer and incompatible children, but the hardest type of malinger can becured. To cure your child malinger, love and pay attention to him. It is yourlove and support that will make your child’s future.