Why do children malinger for going to school and taking an exam? This article introduces the roots of different types of childhood malinger and teaches 5 ways to deal with it. So, if your child is a malingerer, read this article to the end.
What does children malingering mean?
Malingering or sickness is a personal disorder. In psychology, malingering is referred to as a fake disorder. Psychologists identify children who are malingering as difficult children or incompatible children. The meaning of incompatibility is that the child cannot or does not want to adapt himself to the situations. For example, in the morning he malingers for going to school and pretends to have a pain, sore throat and so on.
Malingering in children can begin at age 5 or 6. The reason for this behavior may be a particular problem that the child has in a certain lesson. Malingering can be due to the fact that its relationship with the teacher is not good or, for example, because of a conflict with one of his classmates. Anyway, all of them means that he has problems in adopting himself to the situation. However, the child malingering can have different reasons. But in general, it can be divided into two categories.
۱- Malinger for gaining benefits
In this type of malingering, the child pretends to be ill for gaining benefits. For example, he did not do homework or would like to sleep more. So he pretends to be ill to stay at home. This benefit can be materially or emotionally. Certainly, in this kind of malingering our child has no particular disease.
۲- Malinger without the purpose for gaining benefits
In this type of malingering, the child does not pretend to be ill for a particular benefit. Even he may love going to school. But when he wants to go to school, we see the symptoms of the disease in our child. In this case, these symptoms do not have a specific cause and root. For example, our child may have nausea or headaches, but if you go to the doctor, there is no specific cause for nausea or headache.
How can we identify the types of malingering?
A child who malinger for benefits, does not pretend to be sick as soon as he reaches the goal. Because he has reached his goal, so there is no reason to continue the process. But a child who is in second-group doesn’t malinger voluntarily. When our child has the symptoms of a disease when he is not sick, it shows type2 malinger. The reason for type2 malinger is usually psychological. For example, if he afraid of a certain person, he will have the symptoms of a disease every time he sees him. Whenever he is far away from him, he has no problem.
How should we deal with children malingering?
There are some solutions to deal with child malinger, whether the first type or second type. Farshid Pakzat Research Group, introduces these solutions.
۱- Determining some rules
In most cases, determining the rules solves the problem of type1 malinger. Suppose the reason for child malinger is not doing homework or having more sleep. So, if the correct rules for doing homework and sleeping are determined, then there will be no reason for malingering.
Be careful that doing the home rules is not temporary and should always be done by all family members. The rules that are set for homework, night sleep, or other things should be clearly defined for children. By following these rules, children learn discipline. As a result, instead of dealing with the malingering, you have eliminated the reason for this problem. Remember that parents are the children’s model. So if you do not follow the rules of the home, you cannot expect your children to do this.
۲- Finding the roots and solve problems
We must find our child malinger roots whether it is type1 or type2. Without knowing the cause and the roots of the child’s behavior, we cannot properly deal with the problem. After finding the child behavior’s roots, we should find the best solutions. Then chose the best of them, in accordance with the child’s situations.
It is better for the child to play a role in finding his behavior’s roots. We should talk to children about their problems calmly with no anger. You can show your child the ways for solving his problem briefly. You must support your child in solving his problems and not be in front of him.
While parents do not have the ability to find the roots and solve the problems, they will experience mental and behavioral disorders in dealing with the problem. This kind of behavior also affects the child and instead of solving the problem clear it and the problem may be deeper.
۳- Blame is forbidden
When the child malinger, we should not blame him. Because by blaming we suppress his personality and spirit. Instead of blaming and suppressing the child, we should use penalty. If we determine correct rules, we can use the penalty for not doing the rules. Humiliation and blame only exacerbate our child’s incompatibility.
۴- Do not labeling
You should behave carefully in dealing with the children who are malingering, both the first and the second type. We label our children using words like liars, cowards, lazy and… . Labeling the children will have long bad effects on their personality. If we label our child in dealing with malingering, we will actually create a bigger problem for our child instead of solving it. Of course, by labeling, we cannot solve the problem.
۵- Love them
Do you think that if the children get their parents’ affection and attention, is there a reason to malinger? Parents should love their children in all situations. Do not forget to love and pay attention to them. Try to create opportunities for loving your child. By proper encouraging give them confidence and make your home a safe place for them. Thus, the child finds no reason for malingering.
In the end, we point out that although it is harder to raise malingerer and incompatible children, but the hardest type of malinger can be cured. To cure your child malinger, love and pay attention to him. It is your love and support that will make your child’s future.