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By using vague language, you can overcome the resistance of others to your wishes. Using vague language is one of the NLP techniques that helps you to persuade others and get their agreements. Vague language technique or Milton model, was founded by examining the treatment method of Dr. Milton Erickson by the founders of NLP and This method was named in honor of Dr. Milton Erickson, Milton Model. In this article, we are going to introduce some practical ways of using the vague language that can be used in your daily life.
What is done with vague language is that we intentionally use phrases that are general and broad. Since it is usually difficult to reject general expressions, the person cannot disagree with our opinion. In fact, by doing so, we distract the conscious mind of the person and access their unconscious mind.
In other words, when using vague language, the desired answer is hidden in the question we ask. In practice, without expressing our opinion directly to the person, We are leading them to our goal. On the other hand, the person feels that he’s not limited and is free to answer the way he wants.
The success happens in the Milton technique or vague language when we have nothing to do with the conscious mind of the person. But we target the his unconscious mind. In order to be able to use this technique in practice, here are 3 ways to use vague language.
“You can deliver yesterday’s report by 12, Can’t you ?” This simple sentence is one example of Using vague language or Milton model. Do you think the listener can easily resist this sentence and say no? No. but why? How does this sentence affect his mind ?
With this sentence you are practically inviting him directly to agree with you. Although the opposite option is also possible for him, but because you’re getting his agreement indirectly is more powerful.
A very important point about using tag questions is that the emphatic part of the question should come at the end of the sentence. If you ask your question like this: “Can you deliver the report by the end of 12 ?” he starts to think about the amount of work to see if he can do what you want or not? But with tag question you shift the focus of his unconscious mind to the emphatic part of the sentence. As a result, the he can no longer think about amount of work he has to do and the probability of receiving a positive answer increases.
To use this type of sentences in vague language, you should pay attention to some few points. Since in vague language the goal is not to engage with the conscious mind of the listener, we must use the hidden commands indirectly. Therefore, in this method, the desired command is expressed on behalf of somebody else. For example, when you are talking to your friend, you can say to him, My father always says “Get up early.”
You might wonder what special effect this sentence has. This is the next important point. The sentence itself is not very effective. But the way of uttering the words, that is, the emphasis on the words in which the command is embedded, and also our behavior increases the effectiveness of this method.
In that example, you should say the words “get up early” differently and with more emphasis. When saying this sentence, when you want to utter the words in which the command is hidden, you can put your hand towards the person and actually point to him.
Mr. Erickson used this method in his treatment and he hid the desired outcomes in the words that play the role of embedded commands. He also used a special tone of his voice when saying the sentence and uttered some words differently to be more effective.
This method is very similar to the first method. In the first method, the listener were indirectly guided to our desired outcome the. In this method, we do the same thing, but we give the more alternatives. Of course, the alternatives are within the framework we want. For example: “When will you deliver the report of yesterday’s work ? Before or after the meeting?”
This time, as in the first method, his conscious mind is distracted from the amount of work need to be done. We give him the right to choose the time of delivery of the report. But this right to choose is limited to our preferred period of time .
This method can be used to deal with children. If we tell our children to go clean your room they may not listen. But if we ask them “When will you clean your room? Before lunch or after lunch?” We will probably get the preferred answer. Because in this case, by giving limited choices, we force our child to choose one of the two options. Since the they have chosen an option, they are more likely to do it because after all it was their own choice!
By using vague language or Milton model you can get others agreement and foster their collaboration without conflict . If you can properly use the language technique of vague language or Milton model, you can establish intimate and extraordinary relationships with those around you. Of course the Milton model has many subtleties that all of them need to be learned.
