Is there a way to avoid misunderstanding?

Is there any way to avoid misunderstanding? When does it happen? Why sometimes do we not understand people’s meaning? In this article we will teach you different ways to avoid misunderstanding using the 3 perceptual positions.

How to Avoid Misunderstanding?

In order to avoid misunderstanding we must consider that how we interpret things and how we perceive them? In fact there are two systems for that in which one of them interpret the information and the other creates our perception. According to NLP we receive the information through our preferred representational system which are visual, auditory and kinesthetic systems.

So the way in which we interpret information depends on our preferred representational system. That’s why different people have different interpretations of a situation. Since we can not be aware of all aspects of a situation, there might be some blind spots in our point of view on different problems. These blind spots cause misunderstanding.

Although different interpretation of a situation and blind spots in viewpoints can lead to misunderstanding but it can be avoided. To avoid it we need to focus on the system that interprets the information. In fact we must try to uncover these blind spots while interpreting information. Therefore in order to avoid misunderstanding we need to look for a way to overcome these blind spots.

Here’s an example to explain how we can overcome the blindness in our perspective. Imagine there was an accident and 3 people witnessed the accident. Each of them witnessed the accident from a different position. One from the front, one from the left and one from the right s. Now there might be a disagreement between them over the cause of the accident. What causes the disagreement and misunderstanding?

Each of these 3 witnesses saw the accident from a different position which has blind spots. Basically there are 2 blind spots for each one in this example. The blind spots of each person is exactly the other two positions. Based on this example the solution to avoid misunderstanding becomes clear. If each of the 3 can see the accident form the two other position, the problem is solved. But how can we discover other’s point of view on different situations? NLP has got the answer.

How we can discover people’s viewpoint?

According to John Grinder (the co-founder of NLP ) and Judith Delozier it can be done in 3 processes. They named them first, second and third perceptual positions. Each of these positions will be discussed in the following.

First perceptual position: first person point of view

First perceptual position is the first person point of view. In this position interpretation is only associated with the information we receive through our preferred representational system and other’s perspective or point of view are not considered. Some people throughout their life stay in this position.

Second Perceptual Position: Second Person Point Of View or Empathy

Second position is where you assume the perceptual position of another person. We assume what their opinion would be on the matter? What would they say? How would they feel? Since a situation might seem different in people’s point of view, using the second person point of view (second position) can uncover some of our blind spots.

The second position is also called empathy since in the second position we basically try to see and hear the world through eyes and ears of another. That is why we can develop a feeling of empathy for others. If you have misunderstood someone or vice versa, you could ask their opinion on the subject matter. The more effective your relationship is with some one the better you will get to find out the truth about that subject matter and the more you can be in the second position.

Third Perceptual Position: third Person Point Of View or omniscient

In the third perceptual position, you watch the world from the outside. You seem to be an impartial observer and by no means you are not involved in the story. Like the narrator of a story who can observe and judge the characters of the story from outside impartially.

In the third perceptual position, you should ask yourself: how a neutral person would judge this situation or behavior? You should note that this perceptual position is at a different level than the previous two positions, but not superior. In fact, all three positions are equally important.

How to apply these positions to clear up and avoid misunderstanding?

To clear up or avoid misunderstanding it’s important to be able to move freely between these positions. The one who stops in the first position is a complete selfish person. Someone who only stays in the second position is unnecessarily influenced by the opinions of others. Finally, the person in the third position is a separate observer from the life. We must use all three positions naturally and simultaneously. This is how we can understand different situations better. misunderstandings can be avoided only by using these 3 perceptual positions simultaneously and correctly.